


Take this Guilt Away

by kamaloca



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Emotional Manipulation, M/M, i almost promise, no victimised Loki
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-11-02
Updated: 2012-11-04
Packaged: 2017-11-17 13:55:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/552284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kamaloca/pseuds/kamaloca
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'You could've saved me. You had the chance, you had the key to my escape.' The maniac screaming was slowly turning into broken sobs. 'Why is your heart so cold? Do you not know of mercy?'</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sinners Confessions

New York was still broken apart in bitter pieces, but slowly it was all crawling back together. Like insects people patched up the holes in their hives. Finally the dawn was coming after such a dark time.

The Stark tower was beginning to be rebuilt again, but some changes were made, for one the glowing sign that was like a dogs marking was changed to 'Avengers'.

It should've been expected for SHIELD to request help from Tony Stark. After the escapade with the Norse deity the helicarrier was a flying dump. Although it worked, it was not reliable. So they called out to the best engineer that they knew.

After fixing the main malfunctions and tattered machinery Tony was asked to upgrade the security in a certain prison cell. At first, Tony agreed without hesitation, even when two agents lead him down to the cell and he saw all the guards standing around the doors in a human wall formation.

It was only when Tony was guided inside did he complain. He backed out of the doors, eyes still locked on the prisoner. Tony wasn't afraid, he was repulsed.

Patiently, the agents waited without saying a word. After a moment the engineer finally made his way back inside of the room where the glass cage was set.

The agents then scurried away closing the doors behind them, leaving Tony alone, one on one with the prisoner. It was a bad idea from the very start.

The cage was lit with a cold blue light, not leaving a single shadow in which the prisoner could hide.

Against glass in the furthest corner settled a hunched dark figure, the mockery of humanity seemed so feral and unnatural.

While attempting to ignore the tattered thing that some people once called a deity Tony set to work. He worked quickly and without regard for the quality of his work. Tony just wanted to get out.

Now and then, Tony would glance over his shoulder at the cage where the prisoner named Loki huddled like a pitiful mutt. Tony couldn't say that he pitied this murderous man, but rather loathed him.

When Tony was about to exit the chamber he suddenly noticed Loki watch him. He pale green eyes were locked on him as if he wanted to say something, but obviously, he couldn't. A metal muzzle was plastered against the God's jaw. He was mute and immobile with the tight cuffs that held his hands in fists.

Tony paused, looking back onto Loki. When he looked down onto the prisoner, all he could see was a animal, a feral wolf who was kept in a cage until he was broken. There was no more regality in him. Loki curled his legs under him protectively and pressed himself against the glass. Quiet the opposite of the royal crazed monster that the Avengers once caught.

'What the fuck did they do to you.' Tony breathed out in shock once he fully took in the image before him.

Was this SHIELD's work? They only wished. Maybe Loki knew what was coming to him once he arrived back in Asgard.

Slowly, Tony stepped closer to the cage, then he stopped in the middle of the bridge that connected the cage and the platforms together.

Loki scrambled to push himself up onto his feet, but he seemed too weak and gave up quickly. He settled himself against the glass once again, his eyes narrowed and watching Tony.

The engineer wanted to laugh at how lowly the 'God' looked, how vulnerable, but he held back the laughter. 'If anyone ever wants to strangle you, or shoot you, I recommend that you take it very personally.' The engineer commented.

The prisoner did not avert his eyes, neither did his expression change.

'Are you sorry for what you've done?' Tony felt like a preacher asking a sinner if they felt any remorse, or a priest visiting a criminal who is on their death bed. Dead man walkin'! Heh.

Loki's eyes widened, startled by the question. Then the corners of his eyes creased and a muffled, hoarse sound similar to a laugh. The deity was obviously amused by the nature of the question and he laughed it off like a joke.

Tony smirked too and nodded understanding the wordless answer. 'Now a single dab of regret. A cold hearted murderer, like everyone wants you to be.' The engineer stood closer to the cage. 'Do you know what will happen to you?'

The God looked away for a moment, eye drawing downwards, then he shrugged.

'Either way, even if you escaped Asgard somehow, know that you would have never escaped justice. Here, on Earth, you would be executed as a murderer, as scum. And that would be merciful, I think. If SHIELD had a say, that would have kept you as a lab rat.' Tony spat out at Loki, he could feel the anger boil inside of him towards the rabid dog that is considered a God.

Only if Tony could hear the reply that he knew the God had on the tip of his tongue. And in one rash moment, Tony opened the door of the cell and strode inside. He could see the fear sparking inside Loki's eyes. Tony knelt down and he was about the rip away the muzzle off the God's lips until he saw the eyes of the deity, so tainted and so scared. He looked down onto the petrified rise and fall of Loki's chest, the uneven hyperventilating ragged breaths.

This time, slower and with much more unwanted gentleness Tony pulled off the muzzle. Loki tensed under his touch, his eyes wide again and watching the metal half mask draw away from him.

In a half whisper Tony then spoke, 'Why did you do it, just tell me Loki.'

The stunned God looked up at Tony, no menacing smirk or cold glares. Weakly he replied, 'Because this is what I am, a monster and a destroyer.' More lies, but this was a small part of the truth.

'A monster is a monster I guess. We have gone rotten too you know, the Avengers I mean. But we did do something right eventually. Don't you want redemption?'

A small broken smile crept on Loki's thin lips, in barely audible hoarse voice he spoke: 'No.'

Tony gave a small nod, he looked up at the breaking deity before him. So human and so alien. A thing of something beyond human comprehension, something that cannot be controlled by their petty will and need of control. How did they have the right to judge Loki for what he did, how does Tony have the right to be disgusted by Loki. He is simply following what he is, something that cannot be changed.

Even though Loki began to back away with small whines or protest when Tony began to place the muzzle back on, he still forced it on. Tony heard what he wanted to hear. Quickly he snapped the latch back on and pushed himself to his feet and backed away towards the exit. He then realised that this entire helicarrier was under his thumb. Tony could open any door and silence any call for help. He could either give what Loki already expected, a punishment or Tony could've let Loki escape into the wind, help him find a second chance. Be a traitor, but for a good reason.

All with all, the engineer leaves the God to fall into his cage of broken morality and to the justice that waits for him.


	2. Cold Hearts Haunting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo! Killing Loki is too much fun, and it's sadistically heart breaking on my side. :'D

3 months later 

The Avengers tower was finally reconstructed, new facilities were added along with guest rooms, training areas and R&D floors. It was like small haven, just waiting to be destroyed. 

Some of the Avengers began to move in when Tony offered. First it was Bruce, only because the owner of the tower insisted and then it was Natasha, this time because of Fury who wanted her to keep an eye on the self destructive billionaire. Rogers and Barton decided to remain with SHIELD a while longer. 

It had been three months since Thor and Loki left and returned to Asgard where a sentence would be placed on Loki's neck. The first month the Avengers waited with nervous anticipation which was not expressed outwardly in respect to Thor. On the second month only SHIELD was mildly interested. On the third, the judgement was forgotten.

It was only by the end of the third month that they heard news…

The three resident Avengers were at the breakfast table when the video call came through to Bruce's laptop. It was Jane Foster, they had kept in close contact partly for research and partly for the news of Thor's expected return.

When Jane appeared on the computer screen she seemed strangely washed out and tired, as if she had spent the entire night up with someone for all the wrong reasons. Never the less, Tony and Bruce greeted her warmly. 

'I have both good news and bad news, where do you want me to start?' Jane tiredly muttered. 

The three Avengers shared a concerned look before Bruce continued the conversation. 'The good news, if you don't mind.' 

Jane nodded. 'Thor is back, he returned last night and he will probably be visiting your tower soon.'

'And the bad news?' 

'It's his brothers sentence. The court tried to reach a verdict for two months and only yesterday the punishment was carried out.' Jane took a moment, sighing deeply, looking else where. 

'So, what was the verdict?' Tony quickly chipped in. 

'The worst that they could've come up. The court decided on a public execution.' Jane then gave time for the words to sink in with the listeners. 

Bruce pulled off his glasses and turned around to see Tony's reaction who was stood behind him. On the outside, Tony looked indifferent to the news, but inside he could tell something had cracked. 

'How is Thor?' Natasha spoke up.

'He is… distraught. I can't understand how he could ever care for such a monster, but Loki was more than that to him.' For a moment Jane paused, 'But he is gone now.' She then averted her attention to something else behind the camera. 'Sorry, I have to go.' And with that she ended the video call.

After that the news of Loki's death spread like wildfire. Everyone took to them like world peace was coming. The master of evil is gone and there is nothing to fear. Except one man knew that there was something more to the invasion than one broken deity. Tony saw what was beyond the portal. And to be quiet honest, Tony could feel the cold sweat roll down his palms every time he brought himself to think of the hellish heavens that he witnessed. 

 - 

The lack of sleep was something that Tony was used to, something he had to become adapted to, it was part of his line of work. The small issue with being a inventor. On hours by hours he would stay in his private lab, hunched over a table looking through schematics or rattling away about theories that were so easily dismissed. 

When words no longer became readable, when colours blurred and limbs had a mind of their own Tony would realise it is time to finally rest. Sometimes he would realise that a little too late and he would fall asleep at a inconvenient place. 

The point at which Tony knew he had to close his eyes and let his body rest was already nearing. The schematics were shuffled away and files were closed down, left for tomorrow, for a new day with a fresher mind. 

Even though there were no open windows in the lab, heck there weren't even windows there, a breath of cold air still crept inside.

'Please don't tell me something is wrong with the heating, Jarvis?'

'Everything is working perfectly, sir.' The AI instantly replied. 

Tony huffed but ignored the cold, maybe just a draft that can wait until tomorrow. Sleep was crawling into Tony's system, surely it could all wait until tomorrow.

Eventually Tony made his way out of the lab, he hurriedly strode down the corridors. The temperature fell down lower and lower until Tony could see his breath in the air. As if things couldn't have gone worse, the lights that illuminated the corridors began switching off one by one. 

'Jarvis!' Tony barked angrily, 'I would really appreciate it if you turned on the damned lights!' 

There was no answer. Even when Tony called out to AI again and again there was still no answer. There couldn't have been a problem with the power source of the tower, there are backup generators and if there was a problem Jarvis would've given a warning.

Shivering in the cold and dark and bone deep tired, Tony was almost running out of accessible options. 

The engineer tried to make his way towards an open area out of the corridors, and when Tony did, he felt cold, blood stilling fear seep through him.

There used to be large imprint in the floor that was created by the hulk. The foundation was cracked and broken, but not anymore. Where it was once a shadow stands. It moves forward and in its footing there is a light limp and it only confirms Tony's fear.  

When the trickster God had a clash with the hulk he had gotten away with a thew scratches and bruises, in addition there was a heavy limp too onto the right side. 

In the moonlight the figure was illuminated. Dressed in black regal clothing was no other than Loki. His skin was washed out with white but his eyes were no longer so sunken neither was his hair draping in a unruly mess. Loki looked no longer like a hungered animal but a mourned prince. 

Tony's legs were too frozen to back away into the dark corridor, to hide away from the cold glare of the prince. 'Aren't you supposed to be dead?' Tony felt a sense of pride for him calm voice.

The God grinned, stepping closer to the engineer. 'You should know better, Stark,for I am a God, I am not human, I am a spirit, an idea that is nourished by the faith of humanity. I can never be killed, no matter how much you wish I was.' 

The engineers heart was pounding, as skittish as a spooked horse, wanting to rip out of his heart. 'Why bother with the whole execution fiasco then?' 

'Sometimes the Gods forget their power.' Loki then sadly smiled looking down onto his hands, 'But that doesn't mean that my mortal flesh is not decaying, it doesn't mean that I did not feel the final stroke of the blade across my neck!' Loki was on the edge of screaming, his teeth were bared and his eyes began to bulge. 

Wordlessly, in fear Tony forced himself to back away, further and further into the shadows where in vain hope Loki would not reach him. 

'You could've saved me. You had the chance, you had the key to my escape.' The maniac screaming was slowly turning into broken sobs. 'Why is your heart so cold? Do you not know of mercy?' 

'But you said it yourself, you didn't want saving, even I knew there was no second chance for you.' In desperation Tony began to shout back at the dead God. 

Loki looked down at him with disgust. 'Of all people, I thought you would know of second chances. But now I see, you are just as heartless as any other mortal in this filth ridden realm!' The maniac tone had returned to Loki's voice. He strode closer with a predatory crazed glare.

Tony was about to run, back into the corridor, into the dark, just to escape the haunting sight of the dead God. When he turned he felt a cold hand on the back of his neck and knife sharp jagged nails bitting into his skin. There was a feral growl echoing into a howl and then darkness.

From the black Tony emerged to find himself asleep at his one of many desks in his lab, face down on the glass and shacking with tremors and cold sweat running all over. 

With protesting creaking bones Tony forced himself to sit up. The air was still cold, but not the bitter dead coldness of morgues, not the cold that he felt not so long ago. When he turned in his seat Tony found that the fridge that he kept in case of emergency fatigue was opened. Laughing of his own stupidity Tony swiped off the sweat that was collecting on his brow.  

Though the tremors were soon gone, the memory of what Tony presumed was a dream did not leave him.


	3. Hells Offerings

The movie ended and the champagne bottle became empty. This wash't a date night, it more of a… lets rest and take it easy night. Pepper was curled up beside Tony on a luxurious sofa, hiding under one of his arms and slowly falling asleep. Tony stubbornly refused to admit the drowsiness that was slowly taking over him. If Pepper wasn't here, the alcohol supply would've been empty by now and the music would be blaring on full volume. 

Eventually Pepper became limp in Tony's arms and she rested her head in his lap. Tony forced himself to keep his eyes open, flicking through the channels without the volume. He didn't want to close his eyes, as every time he did so the images appeared again and the scenes of would replay over and over again in his mind. 

Since that night when the dead God reappeared in Tony's dreams, every time he would close his eyes, he would see the crazed look in Loki's eyes. Tony would hear the pleading cries, begging Tony to explain why didn't he rescue Loki, why didn't he help.

Hyperventilating and shacking in fear Tony would then wake up, or push himself back into consciousness when he was on the edge of falling into sleep. 

A black haze was dawning onto Tony's vision, he felt his body relax, falling into a warm serene state. At first he wanted to give into this comfortable cocoon of nothingness before a familiar image flashed before his eyes and burning words echoed in his ears.

Those damned pleading green eyes.

'You could've saved me!' 

Quickly Tony shuck himself back to reality before he would remember any further. He reminded himself of where he was. Home, safe. Tony could hear the steady rhythm of Pepper's breathing, her silky soft hair beneath his fingers. Tony is alive and so is this woman who saved him so many times. Loki is dead, long gone and rotting. 

Slowly forgetting his own fear Tony slowly began to drop back into sleep, the haze began to take him over again. Not from his own accord Tony flinched from the unconscious state. This time, he knew that this wash't the reality.

Pepper was gone and the TV screen was pitch black. There was a strange candle light haze in the darkened room. It was much colder too and music played in the background, it was just a hum. The lyrics were familiar, clearly of Tony's own picking.

'It is very rude to run away when someone is trying to talk to you. Especially if it is me.' That retched voice, with perfect pitch and smoothness. Tony could feel himself tense from the shivers of fear that began to take control of him. 

'It's very rude to try and rip my fucking spine out too, you know.' He bit back as he turned to face Loki who stood only a thew mere feet away. 

There was a small smile of the dead God's lips. It wash't threatening, it was mysterious and enticing. 

'We haven't yet finished our conversation, Stark.' 

'Then speak for God's sake!' Despite the dread that was manipulating Tony, he was losing his patience with the word games, with the prelude to the screaming. 

'Have I told you of what they had done to me?' Loki asked, he moved to stand before Tony, shadowing him with his tall body. 

'No.' Tony whispered, looking anywhere except for Loki.

'They tried to make me confess of all the crimes that I have ever committed. I was reluctant to speak, so they used other means to make me confess.'

When Tony tried to avert his eyes from the God, Loki grabbed the engineer by his jaw and made Tony look into his eyes. When Tony reluctantly faced Loki, all he could see was pain in those green eyes. He tried to escape the grip on his jaw, his attempts were only laughed away.

'I screamed and I screamed upon hours, days, weeks. All those that hated me ripped me apart with their words, their hands. And all that time, I thought of how much I hate you. You could have saved me.' Loki whispered. 'I know what is on your mind. What would you have gained in return if you had the heart to break my chains.' With those words Loki let go of Tony, instead he settled himself in the engineers lap in one smooth movement. Each thigh on either side of Tony's and pressed chest to chest. 

'If you had let me go, I would have offered myself to you, fully, completely and without refusing. I could have been in yours.' The God's pale hands drew up Tony's chest and over his shoulders where they linked. 'And don't forget, I am a God. I could have offered you the entire world, all the wealth and all the land you could have ever wanted.'

Tony didn't know what to say, words refused to spill out between his lips. Neither did his hands know where to go. He wanted to rest his palms against Loki's hips and slowly pull up the numerous layers of clothes. But it seemed so wrong.

'Don't worry Stark, there is no need to say anything.' Loki leaned in closer, his eyes were half lidded and his irises almost completely consumed by the black of his pupils.

When Tony was about to protest he was silenced by Loki who pressed a  forceful kiss to his lips. To his own surprise, Tony did not resist, he gave into the loveless kiss quickly and let his hands wonder. 

Loki was pulled closer against Tony and a hand was fisted in his black hair. The other hand travelled up Loki's clothes to feel his ice-cold skin which felt as tough and perfect and marble, just as it looked. 

For this strange moment, Tony let go completely of the fear and guilt that poisoned him. He forgot those words that were repeated in his mind like a mantra: 'Heartless. Without mercy. Heartless. No second chances.' Tony let himself take pleasure in the God that moan lustfully and fell pliant into his touch.

When Tony finally escaped Loki's hungered kisses, he whispered to the lust drugged God, 'You know that I never wanted for them to… kill you. Don't you?' He burrowed his head in the nape of the God's neck. 'I hate you, yeah I do. But I didn't…' When his hand traced the cold skin on Loki's neck he felt a strange ridge drawing across. It went all the way around the God's neck. 

Once Tony drew away he saw what it was. A scar, still tender and pink. In his mind, Tony could almost imagine the skin being split apart by a blade and blood gushing out. 

The engineer wanted to whisper more apologies to the God even though he knew that he did not mean them, but then two strong hands pushed Tony away, letting him fall back onto the sofa. The engineer looked up to meet eyes with a furious God. The look of disgust had returned to Loki's eyes. 

'Selfish, heartless, filthy mortal!' Loki roared before bringing one hand up and bringing it down on Tony's cheek. Loki's nails dug into Tony's skin, scraping away layers of flesh and on contact when skin met skin the sound that it created mimicked the crack of a whip.

When Tony awoke in warmth with a comfortable presence beside him, he could still feel Loki's hand making rough contact with his face. He could still feel the nails digging into his flesh and the lips moving against his own.


End file.
